A year ago this week I was contemplating yet another mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. I found a lump in early April while on vacation, a sore spot that I knew needed to be examined. It’s hard for me to fathom where these days have gone. So much time and energy focused on getting well and feeling better after my surgeries. Tonight, on my way home from running errands, I heard David Guetta’s song, “Titanium” and I was reminded of the strength of being a survivor. “I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away fire away, ricochet, you take your aim, fire away fire away, you shoot me down, but I won’t fall, I am titanium.” I still have pain on a daily basis, but it gets better with time. The emotional scars still rear their ugly heads and take me down momentarily but I get back up again. I am titanium.
If you are reading this wondering about your own fate and battling breast cancer or watching a loved one go through it, you are titanium. You will get through this. There will be long days, set backs and tears but you will get through this.
It’s been several months since I have posted. I pretty much quit in November after my exchange surgery because I was frustrated by the unknown. I was tired of sharing and was ready to move on. I didn’t feel like telling everyone about my silicone boobs. I didn’t initially like the results but as the months have passed, I have learned to let go of the image of what I once was. Acceptance is not a choice, it is a means of survival. My joy depends on it. I have decided to move ahead into the next stage of reconstruction and know that with that will come more challenges but none that I can’t handle. I am titanium.